k0n
I cannot stop thinking how much he can see through me today when we had a.. “moment” alone. It was something new for me. It surprised me how far he can see through my eyes and my hidden emotions.
He said that every time I laugh, I quickly brush it off my face. Every time I look down, my words become cracky, sorta sounds like I’m hesatating to talk about it. And every time I talk about certain people, he can tell right from my eyes, that I either hate or love them.
I literally told him about everything. About how damaged I am. About how no one would even dare to fix me. About how I don’t want to let anyone in to my life anymore, because people are fucking shit.. But he told me if I kept living in the past, and letting NO ONE to fix it, I’ll stuck here forever.. in eternal loneliness.
sigh
This doesn’t bother you?We used to talk everyday. You said you trusted me. You said you cared about me. Now what? Did that only apply until you got bored of me? Until you found someone else? Because now, I’m lucky if you say hi to me. Did you really have to walk completely out of my life?
(via emilyung)
I’m just something you can use to fill in the missing gaps in your life. After you’re satisfied, you throw me away like I’m nothing.
It’s sad how I’ve always told you about my “depressing” stories and you know how much I hate it when people use me and abandoned me like a worthless piece of shit. I trusted you with all my goddamn soul.
But at the end, you treated me like a worthless piece of shit. How do you wake up and suddenly pretend that I never exist? It’s like you’re using my past to hurt me. You know my weakness, so use it against me.
It’s okay. It’s not like I have feelings anyway.
I didn’t even bother to stop you because you were the one who said all those words and made me fell in love with you even more. You made me believe you. Until now, I’m still waiting for you to come back.
I’m lost and going insane.
What makes you decide to wake up and suddenly try to forget that I exist or even matter?
Did the late night evil thoughts made you insane? Did it tell you that I’m ruining your life? Did it tell you that I’m just something you can use to fill in the gaps in your life?
What did I ever do to you? Why do you never stick to your words? Why do my words never touched your heart?
Oh that’s right. You’re heartless.
“Even though I have problems on my own, no matter what, you’re my first priority. I’ll make you special.”
Lies.
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I cancelled my birthday hang out or whatever that shit called. I’m not even excited for my 16th birthday anymore. Just a year older, nothing to be happy about.
Nothing matters to me anymore.
Nothing.
I poured my heart out to the guy I love. Telling him how much I love him. How much he means to me. And how much I care about him. Took me time to put my feelings into words. In the end I got my heart broken.